ON A DATECatfishing, ghosting, love-making, heartbreaking; it’s easy to lose hope and confidence in the big wide world of dating. But there are four small things we can remind ourselves of when we start losing our head…
This post was sponsored by We Love Dates, but all words and imagery are my own!
After spending three and half years as a singleton, I can confidently tell you I have spent countless hours swiping through carefully curated profiles, signing up to each new dating site that crops up, driving myself crazy over-analysing each unread message, and shed many tears over stupid boys who don’t deserve it. (And lolled at myself immediately afterwards for being such a sap.)
Yes, I’m a serial-dater.
And in the minefield of catfishing, sexting, ghosting, gaslighting and unsolicited dick pics, it’s easy to lose your head and put too much energy into finding “the one“. But, thanks to endless words of wisdom from my friends and loved ones, I now have four things I continue to remind myself of while I’m still deep in the dating game…
You’re not dating to impress someone
You know that feeling – you’re sat on a date, opposite a guy you find a bit fit, and you’re trying your best to impress him. Your head is filled with wonderings. Does he think I’m funny? Is he secretly repulsed from me? Do my boobs look banging in this top? And with it all, we find ourselves forgetting that dating should work two ways. You’re both trying to meet someone, whether for fun or for love. Sure, it’s nice to be liked, but are they really impressing you too? Do you actually like them? Are you having fun? Because that’s what it should be about.
Not everything has to last forever
Not all relationships are meant to be long-haul… and it’s taken me a long time to realise that that’s perfectly okay. Being single for a long time can leave you way too focused on the end goal, and all of a sudden you stop enjoying the little moments in the present. A shameless snort at a joke a guy tells you on your one and only date. The amazing sex with someone who will inevitably break your heart. The experiences you share with someone you thought would be the one. People will pass through your life for a chapter, a season or a fleeting moment… you just need to make sure you’re enjoying yourself for that limited time that they do.
Soulmates don’t have to be romantic
When you think of the word soulmate, it’s natural for your brain to jump to an image of true love in the form a romantic partner. It’s what the movies have been teaching us for years, right? But sometimes you can find the greatest love amongst friends, family, colleagues or pets. Finding someone you seem to click with on an ethereal level doesn’t always happen with a love interest, and it’s important to nurture those other relationships too.
Start giving yourself some lovin’
And I don’t just mean taking time out alone to chase an orgasm for one (which, by the way, I actively encourage and recommend), but focusing on appreciating the little things about yourself that others will undoubtedly fall in love with too. Perhaps the way your nose wrinkles when you laugh. How your eyes light up when you talk about your passions. Your smile. Your hair. Your butt. And in a world where we live with filters on our faces and carefully curated photos on our social media channels, it’s more important now than ever to loves ourselves unconditionally – spots, creases, goofy laughs and all.
We Love Dates is a dating website that’s urging us to get back to being real, feel comfortable in our own skin, and start loving ourselves through and through.
And they started off proceedings for me by including a box of goodies with everything I need to have a self-love date with me, myself and I.
Now, tell me three things you love about yourself? 🥰